summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
