Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
