I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
