the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
