Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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