im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
