First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
