I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
