I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
