I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I CAN MOONWALK!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
