is your mom at the bar?
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
