ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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