Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
