That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
