i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
