Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
