dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
