I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
