arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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