Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
