If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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