Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
