1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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