is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
