just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
