WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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