ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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