They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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