to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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