i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
