I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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