so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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