Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
