we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
