Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
