weddingsv make me drug and hornr
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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