Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
