idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
