My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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