he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
