sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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