Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
