Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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