grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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