well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
