This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
