i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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