God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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