Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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