I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
