we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
