we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
