I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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