fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
