I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You're a waste of cheezeits
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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