i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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