Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
